This is a harder one to write, as the idea of 'coping with the highs' is still a little counter-intuitive to me. When i'm going up, i want to keep going no matter what it costs. Still, the costs are pretty big (as productive as i feel, after a point i'm just chasing my tail ... i wear people out and make them feel a bit scared/uncomfortable ... as good as what i'm doing feels at the time i'm almost always left feeling shamed/embarasses/mortified once i'm back to normal ... not to mention the crash that inevitably follows).
So, here are the things i've learnt that help me keep a lid of the highs.
Note: When i'm on my way up, i find these things easier to do earlier rather than later. If i put them off till i'm properly high then there's very little chance i'll even think of them.
- Scheduling (again). This is very similar to what i do when i'm really low, except this time instead of doing it to help me do things this is intended to help me keep a check on what i do. Mania is a bit like a runaway train, to me. It gathers momentum. The higher i feel, the more i do. the more i do the higher i fell. Repeat until crash. I need someone i trust to help me with this as, if i'm getting high i generally don't see the problem in trying out for 3 bands, gigging, studying for exams, training, partying etc etc in the same few days.
- Grounding myself. There are some things that make me feel safe. Even if i don't feel i need them when i'm going up, doing them can help stable me out a little. This includes: being around calming/supportive people (not people who just love me when i'm high cus i can party hard), playing the guitar, fussing my dog/cat, snuggles with my love, low lights and duvets.
- Giving up my credit cards. Yes this is a cliche, but it's true. I've learnt from experience to give someone i trust my credit cards as soon as i smell the first signs of mania. The crashes are bad enough, without the debt that internetshopping at 4am can bring
- Sleep. The last thing i want to do when i'm up is sleep. Not only do i not need it, i just don't see the point in it. It feels like a waste of valuable time. Again, the less i sleep the higher i go (yet another repeat until crash scenario). I've not found ways to sleep naturally when high, but if i take my medication i do actually sleep for a bit.
- Knowing the difference between getting high and being happy. I'm just a bubbly person in my natural state, and tend to get enthusiastic about stuff. It can get really hard to tell the difference between me being enthusiastic and energetic about things to me being TOO enthusiastic and energetic. Initally they're pretty similar. This causes all kinds of problems between me and those close to me. My parents, as much as i hate to admit it, are the best at picking up when i'm going high. I'm not so great at it.
I never want to be in the position that i questions being happy every time, just in case. Still, i'm working on identifying my 'early warning signs' so that i can tell the difference and enjoy my happy days free of worry.
So, here are the things i've learnt that help me keep a lid of the highs.
Note: When i'm on my way up, i find these things easier to do earlier rather than later. If i put them off till i'm properly high then there's very little chance i'll even think of them.
- Scheduling (again). This is very similar to what i do when i'm really low, except this time instead of doing it to help me do things this is intended to help me keep a check on what i do. Mania is a bit like a runaway train, to me. It gathers momentum. The higher i feel, the more i do. the more i do the higher i fell. Repeat until crash. I need someone i trust to help me with this as, if i'm getting high i generally don't see the problem in trying out for 3 bands, gigging, studying for exams, training, partying etc etc in the same few days.
- Grounding myself. There are some things that make me feel safe. Even if i don't feel i need them when i'm going up, doing them can help stable me out a little. This includes: being around calming/supportive people (not people who just love me when i'm high cus i can party hard), playing the guitar, fussing my dog/cat, snuggles with my love, low lights and duvets.
- Giving up my credit cards. Yes this is a cliche, but it's true. I've learnt from experience to give someone i trust my credit cards as soon as i smell the first signs of mania. The crashes are bad enough, without the debt that internetshopping at 4am can bring
- Sleep. The last thing i want to do when i'm up is sleep. Not only do i not need it, i just don't see the point in it. It feels like a waste of valuable time. Again, the less i sleep the higher i go (yet another repeat until crash scenario). I've not found ways to sleep naturally when high, but if i take my medication i do actually sleep for a bit.
- Knowing the difference between getting high and being happy. I'm just a bubbly person in my natural state, and tend to get enthusiastic about stuff. It can get really hard to tell the difference between me being enthusiastic and energetic about things to me being TOO enthusiastic and energetic. Initally they're pretty similar. This causes all kinds of problems between me and those close to me. My parents, as much as i hate to admit it, are the best at picking up when i'm going high. I'm not so great at it.
I never want to be in the position that i questions being happy every time, just in case. Still, i'm working on identifying my 'early warning signs' so that i can tell the difference and enjoy my happy days free of worry.
